Re-Imagining the Past , aka I Should've Said ....

Do you ever find yourself sitting around replaying some event over and over wishing you had done something differently? Probably, if you're human. I do it. Most of the time it revolves around some negative incident, some act that pissed me off so much and makes me wish I had been louder, more aggressive, more crazy. It's like some sort of ultra-violent fantasy.

Last week my wife and I were driving home from daycare as we do every evening. Our 2 1/2 year-old was in the back seat. My wife was driving. We were less than 2 blocks from our home, on a busy main street through our town. Traffic was heavy and there was immense sun glare that made it difficult to see far ahead of you. We were about to turn down a side street that led to our house when we heard/felt a thump on our trunk. We stopped the car and looked behind us. There was a family of 3 (dad, mom, kid somewhere between 9 and tween), and mom had just hit our car with her first. I leaned out of the window and asked why she'd hit our car. She replied, "You almost hit us." Neither of us had seen this family crossing the street. There was a crosswalk half a block behind us and another half a block ahead, but they'd apparently decided to take the shortcut and cross in the middle of traffic.

I responded, "A) there's a lot of sun glare and we didn't see you, and B) does this look like a crosswalk to you?" Dad starts mouthing off and I finish up with, "You're endangering yourselves!" before we continued down the side street. He's still yelling—we can't hear him at this point because I've rolled my window back up—but as we pass them I simply look at him and shake my head.

This was over a week ago and I still can't stop thinking about it and wishing I had been fiercer, said something better. It makes me so angry to think about. I wish I had said something like, "Illegally crossing a busy street during rush hour with your kid? That ought to earn you the Parent of the Year Award", something clever. I know if I had insulted their parenting skills, really clearly pointed out how irresponsible and dangerous it was, it would have pissed them off to no end. But I didn't. I also wish I had hurled some choice phrases like, "Eat a bag of dicks!" at them, but I realize my toned down response was probably a better choice since there were children around.

I probably ought to start meditating or something so I can learn to let this shit go. I'm sure it's not healthy to dwell on it.