Elfquest Revisited

I was a huge Elfquest fan when I was a tween. I remember going to the library and eagerly looking for the latest issue of the comic. My best friend Jim was a big comic buff and he took me to my first bona fide comic book store where I discovered the concept of "graphic novels" and saw Elfquest Book One. It was an amazing collection of every comic released to date, including those that I had missed. Love, love, love. (I actually shoplifted it from the store and never went back because the dude knew I'd done it).

Wifey and her bro were also Elfquest fans but because they were middle class suburban kids they actually owned every graphic novel in the series. Inevitably every time I visit their home I start reading through their collection, traveling back to my youth. I used to run around the yard with my thumb tucked in, pretending like I was a four-fingered elf and using a stick as a sword, so this was a big deal to me. It's funny how reading these now I have a slightly different reaction to them. I mean, I still love the artwork and the story is still compelling, but I kind've think the Wolfriders are...well...sort've assholes sometimes. 

The Wolfriders flee the burning forest and barge their way into the trolls' caves. The trolls don't want them there; the Wolfriders are comin' anyway. The trolls have to trick them to get them to leave, otherwise they're just barging in and taking what they want. So okay, they don't get along with the trolls, they're running from their lives and have nowhere to go. It'd be nice if the trolls offered to help, but can you really blame them for not wanting to harbor their enemy?

Next the personable Wolfriders raid "Sorrow's End" (the home of the Sun Folk). Cutter actually abducts a woman. It's because of recognition (some sort of undeniable soul connection) but I don't think that really excuses kidnapping, do you? At any rate they essentially ride into the village, plunder and pillage and snatch a woman, and proceed to make themselves at home. The Sun Folk kind've roll over and let them because they're pacifist essentially (except Rayek). Cutter stalks Leetah and eventually wears her down and gets her to sex him up and give in to her feelings. Not creepy at all.

I still love the series, I'd be down for an Elfquest movie, and I'm still gonna devour this treasure trove of online copies of the original series I found (http://www.elfquest.com/gallery/OnlineComics3.html), but it will be interesting to see how my reactions to the storyline have changed. 

Food for Thought

I'm very particular about food. Not in the way of, say, sending a steak back to the kitchen if it's a smidge over medium or something. There are just some things I will only eat a certain way. I will only eat a burger if it's a cheeseburger. I don't like omelettes with too much egg in them. As a rule I don't like egg yolk, but I do like deviled eggs. I only like pasta with pesto, not red sauce. If I have a taco or burrito, it has to have just the right fillings. And this is where the story begins.

Tonight I ordered a burrito from this Mexican place called Jose's. I've ordered delivery from there via GrubHub a few times now with great success. I took a chance on what they call a Super Burrito because by default it comes packed with all the stuff I need in a burrito: guacamole, cheese, sour cream, salsa, in addition to the usual rice and beans and meat. It sounded grand, and at $16 it was certainly a risk, but it turned out to be a huge win. Loved that thing. I ate the shit out of it. It's now my go-to thing when I'm craving Mexican and can't go somewhere.

I get my super burrito tonight, and it was decidedly not super. I took my first bite and got all meat and beans and rice. I thought, Alright, no big. Sometimes the good stuff is a little further down. I kept trying to convince myself with every bite that I was about to get some guacamole, that it just slipped down or something. Not the case. I finally gave up and realized that nope, there was no secret stash of condiment goodness in my burrito. It had simply been prepared poorly. And by poorly, I mean they'd just plain forgotten to put everything on it.

This is where my food particularity comes into play. There are people (like my wife) who could shrug and say, "Well, it's still tasty and I paid for it" and keep eating. Others would have called and bitched someone out to get a replacement. I stopped eating it. I just can't make myself eat something that is less than I want, especially if I've had it before so I have an expectation about what I should be getting. It also made me more than a little annoyed. This wasn't like some special order, where I'd added things to a basic menu item. This happens to me sometimes when I order, say, eggs, and ask them to add cheese. Sometimes the cheese just doesn't make it onto the eggs, and I kind've get that. This however was a regular menu item. It always comes with these things, so for it not to have a single one of these things on it means that someone was just not paying attention. To add insult to injury, they also neglected to include the tortillas that were supposed to come with my queso fundido—again, another standard menu item.

The bright side is that GrubHub is pretty awesome. I went back to my order and filled out a comment about it, and maybe 20-30 minutes later got a text from them asking if I wanted them to try and get a refund or give me a credit. I opted for the credit because I figured it'd be much harder for them to get a refund. Mind you, they credited $15 to my account for an order that was $36 all told, but it was something. More than I would have gotten had I called Jose's directly. This may be the end of my love affair with Jose's Super Burrito though.

Re-Imagining the Past , aka I Should've Said ....

Do you ever find yourself sitting around replaying some event over and over wishing you had done something differently? Probably, if you're human. I do it. Most of the time it revolves around some negative incident, some act that pissed me off so much and makes me wish I had been louder, more aggressive, more crazy. It's like some sort of ultra-violent fantasy.

Last week my wife and I were driving home from daycare as we do every evening. Our 2 1/2 year-old was in the back seat. My wife was driving. We were less than 2 blocks from our home, on a busy main street through our town. Traffic was heavy and there was immense sun glare that made it difficult to see far ahead of you. We were about to turn down a side street that led to our house when we heard/felt a thump on our trunk. We stopped the car and looked behind us. There was a family of 3 (dad, mom, kid somewhere between 9 and tween), and mom had just hit our car with her first. I leaned out of the window and asked why she'd hit our car. She replied, "You almost hit us." Neither of us had seen this family crossing the street. There was a crosswalk half a block behind us and another half a block ahead, but they'd apparently decided to take the shortcut and cross in the middle of traffic.

I responded, "A) there's a lot of sun glare and we didn't see you, and B) does this look like a crosswalk to you?" Dad starts mouthing off and I finish up with, "You're endangering yourselves!" before we continued down the side street. He's still yelling—we can't hear him at this point because I've rolled my window back up—but as we pass them I simply look at him and shake my head.

This was over a week ago and I still can't stop thinking about it and wishing I had been fiercer, said something better. It makes me so angry to think about. I wish I had said something like, "Illegally crossing a busy street during rush hour with your kid? That ought to earn you the Parent of the Year Award", something clever. I know if I had insulted their parenting skills, really clearly pointed out how irresponsible and dangerous it was, it would have pissed them off to no end. But I didn't. I also wish I had hurled some choice phrases like, "Eat a bag of dicks!" at them, but I realize my toned down response was probably a better choice since there were children around.

I probably ought to start meditating or something so I can learn to let this shit go. I'm sure it's not healthy to dwell on it.