So I walked into the women's room and it was...fragrant. No big. That's what it's for. There was a woman standing at the sink, no one else there, and I assumed it was her. Again, no big. I did what anyone with bathroom etiquette would do and avoided eye contact and went quickly into a stall to do my business.
But then she left.
I immediately panicked, realizing that of course anyone who came in after me would think I had bombed the place and I wanted no part of that. It was a race against time to finish my business and get the hell out of there.
I made it.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what it's like to have bathroom anxiety.
Friday, December 19, 2014
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Sexual Discovery: What Are You Obligated to Tell?
Things that happened this morning:
- We almost got t-boned by a huge pickup truck when Wifey turned left at an intersection. The truck was sitting in the middle of the intersection opposite us with his blinker on signaling that he was turning left as well. Should of worked out except that when we started to turn he apparently changed his mind and started straight for us.
- I was almost for driven off the road by some bitch in a minivan who decided she didn't want to stay in her lane while we turned a corner. Had the nerve to curse at me and honk her horn. I caught up to her and blew a raspberry because I'm vicious.
- I almost got t-boned by another driver who was turning left while I was going straight.
But the thing that prompted this post was my favorite local sports radio show. Yes, again. Not in a negative way this time though. It just gave me something to think about and I thought I'd share those thoughts with my readers (or, reader. Hi Jeff!). They were talking about Michael Phelps and the stories circulating online that his girlfriend is transgender, a man, or whatever. Different "articles" use different terminology in their headlines. I'm trying to find a link that doesn't look like it came from the Enquirer. Let me see...I can't find anything, so here it is.
The story, in a word, is "Yuck". Not that she was born intersex and had the surgery and all that jazz, but that she's more than likely not at all involved with Michael Phelps and is using this for some sort of weird publicity. Bleh. The radio show this morning was also very positive and not at all disrespectful about the process and her history. The question they raised though, was this: "What, if any, obligation does a person have to tell their partner about their past?"
In this case it was clearly bullshit that if she did indeed have some sort of relationship with him she opted to go to the media with the revelation of her surgery and such without telling her alleged boyfriend first. That's a no-brainer and a clear money-grab move. Hence one of the reasons I call shenanigans (not to mention the lack of photos of the two of them together, etc.). Let's move beyond that to the generic. If you are a transgender woman/man, or were born intersex and got some things removed, whatever...do you have to tell your partner? And if so, when?
My short answer is this: if you're having a hook-up, kind've one-night-stand style, and everything looks "fine" down there (i.e. they're not going to find something they weren't expecting), I don't think you do. It's a one-time deal and I think there's some safety concerns involved. You don't know the other person all that well yet in the case of a hook-up, and trusting them with that kind of detail means you're opening yourself up for some potentially psycho behavior. I mean, do you tell them at the bar when you guys are getting cosy and heading "that way", allowing for the possibility of them making a scene to save face in front of their friends or something? Do you tell them when you're alone and about to get personal, introducing the risk of personal harm if they flip out? Have you ever seen "Looking for Mr. Goodbar"?
Personally, I've never met/seen a transgender person who didn't ping something. I'm sorry, I know this will probably offend some transgender folks, but I've never seen one that didn't make me think "That used to be a man" or "That used to be a woman". I just don't know how you could miss it. Even this chick, the one claiming to be with Michael Phelps—she's clearly had some surgery done and went the whole nine to realize her inner woman, but her face man. Her face would make me pause and ask some questions before we got too close. It still has masculine angles. But, if some hot woman managed to slip past my radar and we hooked up, I figure what I don't know won't hurt me. This is clearly not the case with STDs, but being transgender is not transmittable, so...play on! (All of the above is also clearly hypothetical since I'm both married and not likely to attract a hot woman other than my wife.)
If you're in a relationship though, if it's getting serious—yeah, you need to fess up. Getting serious is the line, you know, where it's time to come clean about everything because it's about building a relationship, and trust is a cornerstone there, if I may be cheesy. It shouldn't (hopefully wouldn't) change anything if you're with the right person, whereas if it came out somehow later on from another source it could threaten the stability of your relationship.
My two cents on a totally irrelevant subject.
- We almost got t-boned by a huge pickup truck when Wifey turned left at an intersection. The truck was sitting in the middle of the intersection opposite us with his blinker on signaling that he was turning left as well. Should of worked out except that when we started to turn he apparently changed his mind and started straight for us.
- I was almost for driven off the road by some bitch in a minivan who decided she didn't want to stay in her lane while we turned a corner. Had the nerve to curse at me and honk her horn. I caught up to her and blew a raspberry because I'm vicious.
- I almost got t-boned by another driver who was turning left while I was going straight.
But the thing that prompted this post was my favorite local sports radio show. Yes, again. Not in a negative way this time though. It just gave me something to think about and I thought I'd share those thoughts with my readers (or, reader. Hi Jeff!). They were talking about Michael Phelps and the stories circulating online that his girlfriend is transgender, a man, or whatever. Different "articles" use different terminology in their headlines. I'm trying to find a link that doesn't look like it came from the Enquirer. Let me see...I can't find anything, so here it is.
The story, in a word, is "Yuck". Not that she was born intersex and had the surgery and all that jazz, but that she's more than likely not at all involved with Michael Phelps and is using this for some sort of weird publicity. Bleh. The radio show this morning was also very positive and not at all disrespectful about the process and her history. The question they raised though, was this: "What, if any, obligation does a person have to tell their partner about their past?"
In this case it was clearly bullshit that if she did indeed have some sort of relationship with him she opted to go to the media with the revelation of her surgery and such without telling her alleged boyfriend first. That's a no-brainer and a clear money-grab move. Hence one of the reasons I call shenanigans (not to mention the lack of photos of the two of them together, etc.). Let's move beyond that to the generic. If you are a transgender woman/man, or were born intersex and got some things removed, whatever...do you have to tell your partner? And if so, when?
My short answer is this: if you're having a hook-up, kind've one-night-stand style, and everything looks "fine" down there (i.e. they're not going to find something they weren't expecting), I don't think you do. It's a one-time deal and I think there's some safety concerns involved. You don't know the other person all that well yet in the case of a hook-up, and trusting them with that kind of detail means you're opening yourself up for some potentially psycho behavior. I mean, do you tell them at the bar when you guys are getting cosy and heading "that way", allowing for the possibility of them making a scene to save face in front of their friends or something? Do you tell them when you're alone and about to get personal, introducing the risk of personal harm if they flip out? Have you ever seen "Looking for Mr. Goodbar"?
Personally, I've never met/seen a transgender person who didn't ping something. I'm sorry, I know this will probably offend some transgender folks, but I've never seen one that didn't make me think "That used to be a man" or "That used to be a woman". I just don't know how you could miss it. Even this chick, the one claiming to be with Michael Phelps—she's clearly had some surgery done and went the whole nine to realize her inner woman, but her face man. Her face would make me pause and ask some questions before we got too close. It still has masculine angles. But, if some hot woman managed to slip past my radar and we hooked up, I figure what I don't know won't hurt me. This is clearly not the case with STDs, but being transgender is not transmittable, so...play on! (All of the above is also clearly hypothetical since I'm both married and not likely to attract a hot woman other than my wife.)
If you're in a relationship though, if it's getting serious—yeah, you need to fess up. Getting serious is the line, you know, where it's time to come clean about everything because it's about building a relationship, and trust is a cornerstone there, if I may be cheesy. It shouldn't (hopefully wouldn't) change anything if you're with the right person, whereas if it came out somehow later on from another source it could threaten the stability of your relationship.
My two cents on a totally irrelevant subject.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Adrian Peterson Suspended? Good!
Time to write so that this poison in my heart can get out and I can get on with my day.
I heard some chatter on my local sports radio station this morning that almost made me break my texting while driving rule. I wanted to Tweet, Facebook, call in (and I never call in). Seriously.
So Adrian Peterson has been suspended for the rest of the season. You can read about it here and here, plus a bunch of other places. The show hosts, Toucher and Rich, along with their invited guest Greg Bedard (about whom I will say right now, "Eff that guy"), expressed outrage at the suspension. I heard a lot of "What AP did was wrong, but..." and "I don't condone this practice, but..." "Maybe he went overboard, but..." etc. If you agree that he was wrong, and that he needs to be punished, then what's the big fucking deal about him getting suspended for the remaining 6 games?
Oh. You're pissed at Goodell in general. Anything the dude does is automatically wrong, evil, insert adjective here.
Let me try and enumerate and respond to not only the arguments I heard on this show (which I normally love but pissed me off beyond belief today) but also in the comments on that ESPN article. I know, never read the comments, but sometimes there's this masochistic part of me that wants to test whether or not people are as shitty as I typically think they are. They are.
Goodell is only doing this because of public perception. He screwed up on the Ray Rice case so he's making up for it and going overboard.
And? Yeah, he messed up with the Ray Rice shit storm. He's making sure he doesn't fall into the same thing with Adrian Peterson. He doesn't want to be accused of giving this dude a slap on the wrist and letting him off easy. AP was suspended 6 games already—WITH PAY! He missed out on actual play time —which I understand would be a big deal for a competitive athlete— but he still got paid. What a luxury. You're getting punished for violating an agreement with your employer, but you're still getting paid. Now he gets suspended 6 more games without pay. That's too much though, right? Going overboard. Tell me—what is the proper punishment for beating a kid these days?
But look at all the other NFL players that do/did heinous things? Murder, manslaughter, abuse, drugs, drunk driving, you name it. The NFL never gave a fuck before and now they suddenly do?
Better late than never I say. What kind of argument is this anyway? "They never did anything about it before so they should probably keep on keepin' on. Too late now." How does continuing to not do anything help anything?
Goodell's making shit up as he goes. He's catering to public pressure.
Duh. He has a brand. His brand has had a shitty year in regards to reputation. Now more than ever the league seems full of unstable, bully-type agro dudes, and the cover is being pulled back on the league's implicit support and how they sweep these incidents under the rug. He'd be being irresponsible to his organization if he didn't take public perception into account and try to manage that. I reckon the folks most upset about this are the ones who want their business-as-usual football, hold the personal accountability please. "Yeah, yeah, beating bad, blah blah blah. Will he be back in in time to help us make a post-season run?"
But still, Goodell suspended Stallworth for the entire season in 2009 for killing a pedestrian while driving. Does AP deserve the same punishment as a dude convicted of DUI manslaughter? Isn't that a bit much?
There are people who would argue that Stallworth should have gotten worse than that. Did Goodell set a precedent that means that any other crime lesser than murder requires less time? Is the league not allowed to adjust as time goes on?
AP's actions were a product of his background/upbringing/race, whatever. He didn't think he was doing wrong, and plenty of people spank their kids.
Go fuck yourself if you can't tell the difference and you justify abuse with that tired-ass argument. I was raised being "whooped". I don't hit my kid. Argument nullified.
But Goodell is evil. Goodell is a coward. Goodell is a joke. Goodell is the antichrist. I'm never watching football again until Goodell is gone. Goodell is ruining the league.
So, let me get this straight. You're real problem is with Goodell. You don't actually care about what the players do. You'd have been happier if AP beating his kid had never come to light. You'd have been happier if that Ray Rice video had never surfaced. Because now the general public, not just the people who live and breathe football, know what's going on and are weighing in and putting pressure on Goodell to hold these dudes accountable and it's just fucking everything up. And you guys have some sort of bug up your ass about Goodell specifically. When he doesn't punish Rice enough, he's awful. When he punishes him more, later, he's awful. When he punishes AP, he's awful. He's just awful and there's nothing you can say to change my mind. Meh.
I heard some chatter on my local sports radio station this morning that almost made me break my texting while driving rule. I wanted to Tweet, Facebook, call in (and I never call in). Seriously.
So Adrian Peterson has been suspended for the rest of the season. You can read about it here and here, plus a bunch of other places. The show hosts, Toucher and Rich, along with their invited guest Greg Bedard (about whom I will say right now, "Eff that guy"), expressed outrage at the suspension. I heard a lot of "What AP did was wrong, but..." and "I don't condone this practice, but..." "Maybe he went overboard, but..." etc. If you agree that he was wrong, and that he needs to be punished, then what's the big fucking deal about him getting suspended for the remaining 6 games?
Oh. You're pissed at Goodell in general. Anything the dude does is automatically wrong, evil, insert adjective here.
Let me try and enumerate and respond to not only the arguments I heard on this show (which I normally love but pissed me off beyond belief today) but also in the comments on that ESPN article. I know, never read the comments, but sometimes there's this masochistic part of me that wants to test whether or not people are as shitty as I typically think they are. They are.
Goodell is only doing this because of public perception. He screwed up on the Ray Rice case so he's making up for it and going overboard.
And? Yeah, he messed up with the Ray Rice shit storm. He's making sure he doesn't fall into the same thing with Adrian Peterson. He doesn't want to be accused of giving this dude a slap on the wrist and letting him off easy. AP was suspended 6 games already—WITH PAY! He missed out on actual play time —which I understand would be a big deal for a competitive athlete— but he still got paid. What a luxury. You're getting punished for violating an agreement with your employer, but you're still getting paid. Now he gets suspended 6 more games without pay. That's too much though, right? Going overboard. Tell me—what is the proper punishment for beating a kid these days?
But look at all the other NFL players that do/did heinous things? Murder, manslaughter, abuse, drugs, drunk driving, you name it. The NFL never gave a fuck before and now they suddenly do?
Better late than never I say. What kind of argument is this anyway? "They never did anything about it before so they should probably keep on keepin' on. Too late now." How does continuing to not do anything help anything?
Goodell's making shit up as he goes. He's catering to public pressure.
Duh. He has a brand. His brand has had a shitty year in regards to reputation. Now more than ever the league seems full of unstable, bully-type agro dudes, and the cover is being pulled back on the league's implicit support and how they sweep these incidents under the rug. He'd be being irresponsible to his organization if he didn't take public perception into account and try to manage that. I reckon the folks most upset about this are the ones who want their business-as-usual football, hold the personal accountability please. "Yeah, yeah, beating bad, blah blah blah. Will he be back in in time to help us make a post-season run?"
But still, Goodell suspended Stallworth for the entire season in 2009 for killing a pedestrian while driving. Does AP deserve the same punishment as a dude convicted of DUI manslaughter? Isn't that a bit much?
There are people who would argue that Stallworth should have gotten worse than that. Did Goodell set a precedent that means that any other crime lesser than murder requires less time? Is the league not allowed to adjust as time goes on?
AP's actions were a product of his background/upbringing/race, whatever. He didn't think he was doing wrong, and plenty of people spank their kids.
Go fuck yourself if you can't tell the difference and you justify abuse with that tired-ass argument. I was raised being "whooped". I don't hit my kid. Argument nullified.
But Goodell is evil. Goodell is a coward. Goodell is a joke. Goodell is the antichrist. I'm never watching football again until Goodell is gone. Goodell is ruining the league.
So, let me get this straight. You're real problem is with Goodell. You don't actually care about what the players do. You'd have been happier if AP beating his kid had never come to light. You'd have been happier if that Ray Rice video had never surfaced. Because now the general public, not just the people who live and breathe football, know what's going on and are weighing in and putting pressure on Goodell to hold these dudes accountable and it's just fucking everything up. And you guys have some sort of bug up your ass about Goodell specifically. When he doesn't punish Rice enough, he's awful. When he punishes him more, later, he's awful. When he punishes AP, he's awful. He's just awful and there's nothing you can say to change my mind. Meh.
Speculation is that Goodell will be out. Fine. I hope he makes a lot of player's lives more difficult before he does. I hope he says, "Fuck it, I've been too lenient too long. Let me make up for this shit right now." I hope he starts throwing the book at everybody and stops the trend of NFL players being exempt when they fail the tests of basic human decency. Turn it into a survival game show: Who's Can Stay in the NFL? When there's a real threat to those 6-digit checks and not being able to participate in something you love maybe we'll see real change.
I'm not unreasonable though. I get that part of the pique is about a lack of guidelines. How do you know what you can get away with if there are no regulations clearly outlining the possible punishments?
Friday, October 24, 2014
The Cost of Recording
I'm a musician...sort've. I don't make any money off of it, but I play in a band and I launched a solo project about a month ago. I have a website with a blog and all that jazz and I would normally post this kind of music-related biznazz there. The thing is, this little rant is going to be about someone local, someone known, and I don't want to burn any bridges before I've built them, you know what I mean? So I'm just gonna go ahead and separate this out so I can get it off my chest but still maintain relations in case I need them again in the future. In the short term I have no intention of working with him again, but you never know what's going to happen.
When I decided to launch this new music project I had this great idea. I was going to release a single month. It would be a good way to keep people engaged, prevent them from burning out on the same old tune and losing interest. I happened to have a bunch of professionally recorded tracks that I'd done a couple of years ago. Wifey got me some studio time with a friend of ours who has a studio in town, and I went in with my guitar and laid down rhythm and vocals, had the dude from my band come in and play bass, and then had some local college kid do drums. I recorded like 6 or 7 songs during this time. They were essentially done and all I needed was some lead guitar work. I had asked a friend of mine to do it and he agreed, but he kept putting me off and finally the whole project just languished. When I re-committed myself to a solo project I thought, Cool, I have a bunch of pro tracks to start off with. I'll just play the leads myself. I planned to do a combination of releasing the professionally recorded ones and home-recorded demos of new songs.
There was a small snag in my plan though. Upon re-listening to the previously recorded tracks, it became clear that the dude with whom I'd initially recorded either had a tin ear (which I feel like he didn't because his other shit sounds pretty good), or just didn't really give a damn. The guitar was so badly out of tune it made me wince to go back and listen. I remember recording an EP with my band, using this guy (let's call him Scarf, because he wore a scarf one time) who has a studio in the same building as our practice space and having him flat out replace my guitar with one of his own to play because it didn't sound very good. That's a producer, and it makes sense. It's what I'd expect. I'm going to release these recordings and tell everyone that you recorded and produced them. It's in your best interest to make them sound good. For whatever reason that didn't happen with my initial recordings. I never told the dude either because I have no backbone. At any rate, I now found myself in a position of having to re-record all of the guitar, and some of the vocals too.
I decided to work with Scarf. He was a known, I liked the work he did on our EP, and he was conveniently located. No-brainer. I sent him the tracks I had and said, "Tell me what I need to do to make these sound good." His assessment? That much of it was unusable. He didn't think the drums were mic'd very well and therefore they lacked good levels, and he agreed that my guitar was out of tune. He said it would cost me more money to have him try and massage all of that into something listenable (and it still wouldn't be great) than it would be for us to start over. He would use what he could, but in the interest of quality replace whatever didn't rate.
When I decided to launch this new music project I had this great idea. I was going to release a single month. It would be a good way to keep people engaged, prevent them from burning out on the same old tune and losing interest. I happened to have a bunch of professionally recorded tracks that I'd done a couple of years ago. Wifey got me some studio time with a friend of ours who has a studio in town, and I went in with my guitar and laid down rhythm and vocals, had the dude from my band come in and play bass, and then had some local college kid do drums. I recorded like 6 or 7 songs during this time. They were essentially done and all I needed was some lead guitar work. I had asked a friend of mine to do it and he agreed, but he kept putting me off and finally the whole project just languished. When I re-committed myself to a solo project I thought, Cool, I have a bunch of pro tracks to start off with. I'll just play the leads myself. I planned to do a combination of releasing the professionally recorded ones and home-recorded demos of new songs.
There was a small snag in my plan though. Upon re-listening to the previously recorded tracks, it became clear that the dude with whom I'd initially recorded either had a tin ear (which I feel like he didn't because his other shit sounds pretty good), or just didn't really give a damn. The guitar was so badly out of tune it made me wince to go back and listen. I remember recording an EP with my band, using this guy (let's call him Scarf, because he wore a scarf one time) who has a studio in the same building as our practice space and having him flat out replace my guitar with one of his own to play because it didn't sound very good. That's a producer, and it makes sense. It's what I'd expect. I'm going to release these recordings and tell everyone that you recorded and produced them. It's in your best interest to make them sound good. For whatever reason that didn't happen with my initial recordings. I never told the dude either because I have no backbone. At any rate, I now found myself in a position of having to re-record all of the guitar, and some of the vocals too.
I decided to work with Scarf. He was a known, I liked the work he did on our EP, and he was conveniently located. No-brainer. I sent him the tracks I had and said, "Tell me what I need to do to make these sound good." His assessment? That much of it was unusable. He didn't think the drums were mic'd very well and therefore they lacked good levels, and he agreed that my guitar was out of tune. He said it would cost me more money to have him try and massage all of that into something listenable (and it still wouldn't be great) than it would be for us to start over. He would use what he could, but in the interest of quality replace whatever didn't rate.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Camp Belvidere: My Half-Assed Review
In my last post I mentioned a movie I'd seen recently called Camp Belvidere, and I threatened to talk about it. So, I'm gonna talk about it. It's a 38-minute short only available for rental via Vimeo. I find that incredibly disappointing because a) the movie's been out since April I think, and b) I could go broke renting it. I liked it that much.
I don't typically go in with high expectations when it comes to shorts. It's a challenging way to make a movie. You have a limited window in which to tell your story, and that often results in movies that are purposefully vague (re: "artsy") to avoid having to adhere to standard storytelling tactics which might not work well; movies with a lot of short scenes and quick camera changes, resulting in a frenetic feeling; or movies that just don't get to tell the whole story and leave the audience feeling disconnected and lost. Camp Belvidere rather masterfully avoids all of those pitfalls and leaves me feeling like I just watched a complete movie. A short one, but complete.
Ahem...there may be spoilers from here on out because I can't censor myself. You've been warned. I'll even make a little jump link for you.
I don't typically go in with high expectations when it comes to shorts. It's a challenging way to make a movie. You have a limited window in which to tell your story, and that often results in movies that are purposefully vague (re: "artsy") to avoid having to adhere to standard storytelling tactics which might not work well; movies with a lot of short scenes and quick camera changes, resulting in a frenetic feeling; or movies that just don't get to tell the whole story and leave the audience feeling disconnected and lost. Camp Belvidere rather masterfully avoids all of those pitfalls and leaves me feeling like I just watched a complete movie. A short one, but complete.
Ahem...there may be spoilers from here on out because I can't censor myself. You've been warned. I'll even make a little jump link for you.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Lesbian-related Media Thought of the Day: Soap Operas
I've just completed a binge re-watching of All My Children's Bianca/Marissa storyline. It's been a little light in new lesbian media these days (although I did just watch in interesting little short called Camp Belvidere; more on that in another post maybe) and when that happens I tend to go back to my old standbys for my girl-on-girl fix. Re-watching AMC is one of those standbys. As always, watching those clips made me start thinking about how odd the state of lesbian affairs is in the daytime soap world, so I thought this time I'd write it down and maybe not have to think about it the next time. Doubtful, but hey, no harm.
I don't know how many lesbians there've been in the history of US soaps. I'm not an avid soap watcher, although when I was a teen I tuned in to Days of Our Lives, Guiding Light, As the World Turns, and Another World whenever I had a chance. I of course didn't realize that tuning in to Another World simply because I was enthralled with Anne Heche, or that I really, really liked As the World Turns's Shannon O'Hara played by Margaret Reed might mean something...else. Like, it wasn't because of the stellar acting.
I became reacquainted with soaps by watching clips of Maggie and Bianca on AMC. I had heard about Lena Kundera but honestly, she wasn't all that attractive to me so I didn't really fancy going back to see any of that. It's kind've the way I pretend Callie and Erica didn't happen on Grey's Anatomy. I enjoyed the BAM storyline even though it just didn't make sense a good deal of the time, and it seemed that the writers were doing everything they could to keep them from having to actually do anything about the attraction between the two characters. It was so weird because they had already established this lesbian character in Bianca Montgomery, and that was such a big deal, and they'd given her a relationship already (two actually because there was Frankie I guess), but for some reason they were really balking about fully committing to Maggie and Bianca. Who the hell knows why? They kissed a total of I think 3 times during the series, and for all but the last time it wasn't mutual. You have the Maggie snogged Bianca while Bianca was with someone else kiss: http://youtu.be/Ery5wWUTgX4. I'd embed it but the user disabled that functionality. It's at the 3:40 mark.
The next time is the other way around. Maggie's in an abusive relationship with some dude and Bianca kisses her: http://youtu.be/ZYO-DcQcFc0. Same deal with the video, but this person seems to be the only one with any BAM vids on YouTube.
And the last kiss: http://youtu.be/LTmJLs4tgYk. It was still a sort've non-mutual kiss; it was a break-up kiss. They actually talked to each other and said out loud that they were lovers...right before Elizabeth Hendrickson left the show. I guess better late than never.
I don't know how many lesbians there've been in the history of US soaps. I'm not an avid soap watcher, although when I was a teen I tuned in to Days of Our Lives, Guiding Light, As the World Turns, and Another World whenever I had a chance. I of course didn't realize that tuning in to Another World simply because I was enthralled with Anne Heche, or that I really, really liked As the World Turns's Shannon O'Hara played by Margaret Reed might mean something...else. Like, it wasn't because of the stellar acting.
I became reacquainted with soaps by watching clips of Maggie and Bianca on AMC. I had heard about Lena Kundera but honestly, she wasn't all that attractive to me so I didn't really fancy going back to see any of that. It's kind've the way I pretend Callie and Erica didn't happen on Grey's Anatomy. I enjoyed the BAM storyline even though it just didn't make sense a good deal of the time, and it seemed that the writers were doing everything they could to keep them from having to actually do anything about the attraction between the two characters. It was so weird because they had already established this lesbian character in Bianca Montgomery, and that was such a big deal, and they'd given her a relationship already (two actually because there was Frankie I guess), but for some reason they were really balking about fully committing to Maggie and Bianca. Who the hell knows why? They kissed a total of I think 3 times during the series, and for all but the last time it wasn't mutual. You have the Maggie snogged Bianca while Bianca was with someone else kiss: http://youtu.be/Ery5wWUTgX4. I'd embed it but the user disabled that functionality. It's at the 3:40 mark.
The next time is the other way around. Maggie's in an abusive relationship with some dude and Bianca kisses her: http://youtu.be/ZYO-DcQcFc0. Same deal with the video, but this person seems to be the only one with any BAM vids on YouTube.
And the last kiss: http://youtu.be/LTmJLs4tgYk. It was still a sort've non-mutual kiss; it was a break-up kiss. They actually talked to each other and said out loud that they were lovers...right before Elizabeth Hendrickson left the show. I guess better late than never.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Your Bodies, Your Selves...Naked Celebrity Pics
I've read a lot of articles about the latest naked celebrity photo leak: Facebook, Gawker, Jezebel, Slate...well, hell, everyone has something to say about it. Welp, here's my two cents.
First, I'd like to address the way people are calling the theft of these photos a "sex crime". Lena Dunham was one of the first people I saw use that term to refer to this incident. I tried to find a standard definition of a sex crime, and in the majority of cases the definition always involved a physical component. From http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/sex-crimes.html
Now, I'm not saying that this was not a crime. It certainly falls under the criminalization of hacking in general, a breach of personal data that should be handled with the same levity as any data breach. The person(s) responsible, if found, should be prosecuted, along the same lines as Christopher Chaney. I can't imagine how violated and embarrassed the victims must feel. If it were me I'm not sure how I could show my face in public. It sucks.
But. But. It is not a sex crime, and frankly the unwillingness of some circles to acknowledge the other side of this —the responsibility on the part of the actresses in question—is perplexing and just plain stupid. People do foolish things, they make foolish mistakes. It makes you feel bad for them, but it does not negate their part in what happens to them. And this is the second thing I want to address, and it's an opinion that will get you flooded with accusations that you are victim-blaming, supporting rape culture, etc. GTFO.
Listen, you have every right to take selfies, naked or otherwise. Do you. Congratulations on feeling so secure in your body and yourself that you want to express it in that way. Don't be naive though. Know that just as hackers can grab credit card data from Target and Home Depot, your online data is vulnerable as well, and if you put that shit online you are assuming risk. It kills me when people do risky shit and then act all surprised when it goes pear-shaped, especially since this isn't the first time this has happened. Did no one pay attention when this happened to Scarlett Johansson? Christina Aguilera? Jessica Alba? Vanessa Hudgens? I mean, damn man. You'd have to be living under a rock to not have some reticence about uploading your naked pics to the cloud.
Okay, so maybe they didn't do it on purpose. Maybe they had some sort of automatic upload enabled through the iCloud service. Is ignorance an excuse? In many other circumstances we'd be quick to say no, it's not an excuse, but here we're willing to give them a complete pass and dissolve them of all personal responsibility. Again I say: GTFO.
I hope they prosecute the guy who did this. I applaud sites like Reddit that have been working vigilantly to remove links to the photos and shut down discussions about it. I hope the victims are able to recover from this and don't suffer too much emotionally or professionally. I hope they delete all of their nude selfies and refrain from uploading them without taking proper precautions (like stronger passwords, two-factor authentication, encryption, etc.). I hope others, celebrities and mere mortals alike, learn from this and do the same.
First, I'd like to address the way people are calling the theft of these photos a "sex crime". Lena Dunham was one of the first people I saw use that term to refer to this incident. I tried to find a standard definition of a sex crime, and in the majority of cases the definition always involved a physical component. From http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/sex-crimes.html
A number of different offenses fall into the sex crimes category, but they generally involve illegal or coerced sexual conduct against another individual. Every state has laws against prohibiting the various types of sex crimes, such as rape and sexual assault, and each state has its own time limit (or “statute of limitations”) in which victims of sex crimes may file a lawsuit against the alleged offender.The website http://sex-crimes.laws.com/ lists a number of offenses including child pornography, molestation, statutory rape. It does not list distributing personal photographs without consent. I found a rather broad definition of "sex offense" from fbi.gov:
Sex offenses (except forcible rape, prostitution, and commercialized vice)—Offenses against chastity, common decency, morals, and the like. Incest, indecent exposure, and statutory rape are included. Attempts are included.I don't know what an "offense against chastity" would even look like, but none of these say to me that this was a sex crime.
Now, I'm not saying that this was not a crime. It certainly falls under the criminalization of hacking in general, a breach of personal data that should be handled with the same levity as any data breach. The person(s) responsible, if found, should be prosecuted, along the same lines as Christopher Chaney. I can't imagine how violated and embarrassed the victims must feel. If it were me I'm not sure how I could show my face in public. It sucks.
But. But. It is not a sex crime, and frankly the unwillingness of some circles to acknowledge the other side of this —the responsibility on the part of the actresses in question—is perplexing and just plain stupid. People do foolish things, they make foolish mistakes. It makes you feel bad for them, but it does not negate their part in what happens to them. And this is the second thing I want to address, and it's an opinion that will get you flooded with accusations that you are victim-blaming, supporting rape culture, etc. GTFO.
Listen, you have every right to take selfies, naked or otherwise. Do you. Congratulations on feeling so secure in your body and yourself that you want to express it in that way. Don't be naive though. Know that just as hackers can grab credit card data from Target and Home Depot, your online data is vulnerable as well, and if you put that shit online you are assuming risk. It kills me when people do risky shit and then act all surprised when it goes pear-shaped, especially since this isn't the first time this has happened. Did no one pay attention when this happened to Scarlett Johansson? Christina Aguilera? Jessica Alba? Vanessa Hudgens? I mean, damn man. You'd have to be living under a rock to not have some reticence about uploading your naked pics to the cloud.
Okay, so maybe they didn't do it on purpose. Maybe they had some sort of automatic upload enabled through the iCloud service. Is ignorance an excuse? In many other circumstances we'd be quick to say no, it's not an excuse, but here we're willing to give them a complete pass and dissolve them of all personal responsibility. Again I say: GTFO.
I hope they prosecute the guy who did this. I applaud sites like Reddit that have been working vigilantly to remove links to the photos and shut down discussions about it. I hope the victims are able to recover from this and don't suffer too much emotionally or professionally. I hope they delete all of their nude selfies and refrain from uploading them without taking proper precautions (like stronger passwords, two-factor authentication, encryption, etc.). I hope others, celebrities and mere mortals alike, learn from this and do the same.
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