Car Trouble

We drive a 1998 Honda Accord, manual transmission. It's been a good, reliable car (as Hondas tend to be) but it's starting to show its age. The driver-side back door doesn't open from the outside any more; you have to reach around from the inside to open it. There's a very embarrassing clicking sound when you turn the wheel. I liken it to the sound you get when you put a playing card in the spokes of your bike—cute on a bike, not so cute on a car.

Wifey and I have different priorities for a car. It's the story of our lives really, so we have to work hard at compromise. For me, power and sexiness was key. I wanted a car that looked good and had plenty of pickup for those times I wanted to zoom around that fucking Prius that's in the wrong lane to be going the speed limit. Wifey is more concerned about fuel economy. She wants a hybrid ideally, but I'm kinda staunchly against the Prius so that cuts down our options. Have I mentioned I hate Prius drivers? Not for their ideology, but for the way they drive. They suck. I'd buy a Tesla in a heartbeat though, as would Wifey, but at $60k it's not happening any time soon.

We came up with a compromise list. About the only thing we could definitely agree on were that we wanted a manual transmission again (because they're fun to drive and damn sexy), and a moonroof. Essentially, we wanted what we currently have but in a newer car. The cars we settled on trying out were:

• Honda Accord EX, manual
• Honda Accord Hybrid
• Mazda 6

We struck out with every. single. one. We weren't asking for much: manual transmission, cloth seats (because Wifey is a vegetarian), and a moonroof. The exact same things that we have in our current Accord. 

We started out with the Mazda because it's a sexy car, has awesome ratings and customer satisfaction, and it's just something different than the Honda. The Mazda comes in 3 trims: Sport, i Touring, and Grand Touring. The Sport lacked a moonroof. The i Touring also lacked a moonroof, and it was only available in leatherette, which Wifey wasn't thrilled about even though it wasn't real leather. The Grand Touring would have, admittedly, gotten us everything we wanted—but it only came with leather seats. 

We moved on to the Honda. Safe, boring Honda. They've done a few things to the Honda since we got ours though, and the Accord is actually kinda sporty looking, and has a nice stick shift—a sporty, short one. It felt really good to drive. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that the Hybrid was also a nice drive, despite the fact that it was a hybrid and automatic. Wifey was obviously very excited about the Hybrid too. The downsides to it? No moonroof, no manual transmission, and no trunk space. We were willing to overlook the transmission type, and even considered leaving the moonroof. The trunk space was the killer though. It's only about 12.7 cubic feet, which is simply not big enough. The back seats also don't fold down at all, so you only get that 12 feet—not a bit more. I'm a musician and have to haul gear around sometimes. It would be pretty tight to get my amp and guitar into a trunk that size. There's also the occasional Home Depot trip, trips to the Vineyard where we pack our lives up for a weekend, long road trips to Cleveland...you get the picture. 

The Accord EX was the only car we looked at that offered all the features we wanted. The only downside was that it came in all of two colors: light grey and dark grey. We were fine with this though. If we could get everything else we were more than willing to have our color prospects limited. We went through our local dealer who located two cars. We thought we were finally at the end of our journey, but those two were already spoken for and the dealer couldn't find anyone else in the area who had that exact model with those exact specs. 

We had struck out three times. 

Now we're kind've circling the wagons again, trying to figure our our next steps. We're extending our search to some other areas that we travel to from time to time. The Hybrid is still out, but we're hoping we can find the EX manual somewhere. The Mazda is likely out because not only does it only come in leatherette, it has no moonroof. 

Honestly, I don't get how fucked up these trim levels are. It's super frustrating. 

Streaming's Got Me Steaming

Friday night and I'm at home with The Kid because Wifey has a social engagement. I dig our Troublesome Twosome evenings because it's a nice bonding opportunity for the two of us, and often what I'll do is set up a movie night since we generally don't allow her a lot of screen time. We do it up: fun "junky dinner" (like hot dogs are something), popcorn, ice cream. The works. That night she asked to watch The Lion King. You remember The Lion King, right? "I just cant wait to be king"? "Kakuna Matata"? Came out in 1994?

So we hit the tv room and I prepare to search for it online. I'm used to this dance, y'know? It happens every time we want to watch something. I start off with Netflix and usually strike out because Netflix has zilch for movies. Then I move on to FiOS On-Demand because why not? Usually I can stop right there and get on with my evening. Not this night, my friends. Not this night. FiOS didn't have The Lion King. I move on to XBox and start searching their various video offerings for it, including Amazon Prime. Nothing. At this point I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong. I can find Big Hero 6, which was out not that long ago, but I can't find a decades old movie?  It didn't make sense to me. Unfortunately no amount of searching yielded the ability to stream The Lion King. So, we had to watch Bob the Builder episodes. A bunch of them. I fucking hate Bob the Builder. All of those construction vehicle characters have entirely too much hubris.

Later that night after the little one was asleep, I figured I'd treat myself to a little movie viewing. I had a desire to watch some super hero action/adventure, and I was kinda craving Robert Downey Jr. so I decided to look for a little Avengers. I followed much the same route as earlier (with the exception of the XBox Video because by this time I was laying in bed with my iPad). I started with Netflix, went on to Amazon Prime. Not available to stream. Netflix has some cute Avengers cartoons, but I didn't want cute cartoons. Okay, how about Iron Man? I'll even take the first one. Nope. At this point I wanted to throw something. So much content, so many services, and we still have really shitty selection. I honestly don't get what makes it so that I can't stream any of the Fast and Furious movies, or Spiderman or even Taken, but I can get Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Robocop? I can get something old as shit like The Fifth Element, but not The Lion King? Why can I stream Dirty Dancing but not Mannequin?!

I know, I know, there are complicated forces behind these things, legions of dark-suited media pimps haggling and bargaining across the biggest solid oak table you've ever seen. It just seems crazy to me that everything is not available to stream by now—especially the old stuff! Like, I thought Netflix was the Last Stand for some of these old movies. Who does it benefit to keep this stuff vaulted up? Surely you'd make more money letting a service offer all of this old stuff so that people like me can go traipsing down memory lane than by letting it rot in a vault? How about the fact that Age of Ultron is coming out soon? I can't be the only person who wanted to reacquaint myself with The Avengers so that I would be up-to-date when the movie releases soon.

I get that "they'd" much rather have you buy the DVD/BlueRay disc/whatever but surely there's a dropoff time where you reckon if someone hasn't bought it by then, they're not gonna. I haven't purchased Michael Keaton-era Batman; I doubt that's going to change now. So just freaking stream it!

I wound up watching Voltron that night. Voltron! I love Voltron, but c'mon. You have Voltron and you don't have Short Circuit?

Ugh.

The Oddity of Banking Security

I stopped into 7-Eleven today to buy a few things. I swiped my debit card and it said "declined". I tried it again. Declined. I checked my statement right there from my phone and it said I had plenty of money to make the purchase. I had also just bought a cup of coffee (medium french vanilla, cream and sugar if you ever want to buy one for me) and I seriously doubted $2.12 had drained my account. I feared my account had been compromised in some way so after handing back my purchases and slinking away in embarrassment I called my bank.

About my bank: I'd been using ING Direct for a long time. I loved their service. Even if there was no brick and mortar place for me to do stuff like deposit physical checks or whatever I never needed one, and since I use my debit card for most transactions I wasn't even put out by the occasional fee to withdraw from someone else's ATM. ING Direct got bought by Capital One and so now I have a Capital One 360 account. I thought it would be shitty because Capital One, but so far the differences have been pretty transparent

The customer service rep was really nice and I didn't even have to wait on hold for long. She looked up my info and saw the declines. Every decline gives them a code that tells them why it was declined so she was able to drill down and let me know what the problem was and fix it pretty quickly. According to her there was a suspicious transaction on my card that had caused a freeze to be put on my account. The suspicious activity was a $20 charge from Audiokite, a service that allows musicians to upload their songs and get it reviewed by x number of anonymous users. It's a pretty cool service and a valuable tool for musicians if you don't have the means/exposure to get official reviews from the press.

I totally get the need for security, and in general I'm happy that my bank is looking out for me (I mean, not actually looking out for me really but protecting their own reputation and interests, but it benefits me so I'm not going to quibble about their reasons), but the way they did this one baffles me.

First of all, Audiokite is based in the states, in New York I believe. I spent a week in the Dominican Republic and used my card to charge things and even to withdraw pesos from an ATM. At no time did they flag my account, contact me to report that my buying pattern had turned suspicious, or anything of that nature. I was in another country! Yet a transaction from a US company aroused their suspicion? What's with that?

Second, I asked the rep if they should have contacted me to let me know that they had frozen my account for suspicious activity. She said they should have, and a check of the record showed that they'd initiated an automated call to let me know. Well, in fact they did call me. Earlier this morning I received an automated call from a 1-800 number that went something along the lines of "We're contacting you about suspicious activity with your banking institution." I listened to that generic message, made from a number that did not match the one on the back of my card, and assumed it was some sort of scam or phishing expedition. I mean, you can't be too careful about that stuff and I get spam calls to my cell all the time. I told her as much and she chuckled and admitted that yeah, their calls do sound like scam calls. So...you know, would it hurt to say the name of the bank in the message, and maybe to specify to call the number on the back of your card for assistance so that you're not skeezed out by some random 800 number? Maybe?

Anyway, I got it cleared up but I went ahead and withdrew some cash because I didn't want to go back into 7-Eleven and try it again. Their eyes were so...judging.

Rollin' in Pesos --- But I Won't Be Back

I just spent a week in the Dominican Republic with Wifey and Princess Jr. We were staying with some friends who've been living there for a few years now. I'm about to tell you about that stay, and I want to acknowledge two things:

1. I realize that I can never really complain about being someplace where the weather is in the 80s and above all the time when the alternative was for me to be in Boston getting snowed on. 
2. I am about to speak from a place of extreme privilege, specifically American privilege. I find it ironic that can go to another country and feel privileged because of my American-ness, but I don't feel privileged in my own country even though I don't stop being American when I'm at home. That's another post for another day though. 

So, let me quickly note the things that were enjoyable about the DR:

• Our friends were there, and we like them, so yay. 
• Beaches. Lots of beaches. If you like beaches, another yay. I happen to enjoy beaches so that worked for me. 
• Some neat natural wonders that weren't hidden behind miles of rope. We visited Los Tres Ojos the day before we left, and it is amazing. Underground caves and lakes, and not a single security guard or rope or anything. You could dip your toes into the water, you could touch the stones and stalagmites—essentially you could interact with it in a way that you usually can't with US places of this nature. 

The reason you can run all over the place here is kind've the heart of the DR though: No hay reglas. There are no rules. It's like some kind of Mad Max world. That's probably why, as a person who kind've likes rules and order, I didn't dig it. 

Herein begins the rant. 

The country is filthy. I have never seen litter like in the DR. Seriously, I get pissed off at home when I see a candy wrapper or crushed beer can chilling in the grass because we've gotten to the point where litter is no longer the norm. They didn't get the memo in the DR. Shit is gross. You drive along the highway and there's this beautiful coastline with sandy beaches and grass, and you see all of this white shit dotting the grass and you're like, What's that? And then you realize it's styrofoam containers and bottles and plastic bags and all kinds of crap. And no, this isn't tourist detritus. These are people who freaking live here!! They give zero fucks about it. Remember how I said there were beaches everywhere? Well, with your white sands and blue water you're likely to also find someone's dinner remains. Zero. Fucks. 

Now, you can probably go to one of their all-inclusive resorts and have some pretty nice clean beaches. By far one of the best beaches we visited was Playa Coson, largely because it didn't lie right next to any major throughway or streets. Pretty much it looked like only tourists frequented it. It was removed enough that it was "unspoiled". The beaches that were more in the heart of things like at Las Terrenas or the beaches at Boca Chica though? Nope. I saw a dude walk right up to the shore on one beach and empty his pockets and walk away. No one gave him a second glance. He was a local. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the beaches the locals frequent, which were the ones we usually went to because they were closest to Santo Domingo, were the dirtiest ones. I actually found an interesting website with forum posts about the trash problem there after I Googled to see what kind of waste management system they have in place. In a nutshell: none. 

If you ever visit the DR and don't stay in an all-inclusive, i.e a place you won't have to leave, do yourself a favor and hire a taxi. Do not attempt to drive. I always thought Boston drivers were kind've lawless, pulling all kinds of stunts like creating lanes where there are none, cutting people off...just generally being Mass-holes. You've seen nothing until you've been in Santo Domingo-area traffic. There are no rules. It's a free-for-all, and as a result there is a lot of honking, a lot of standoffs, and a lot of crappy-looking cars. They're called Frankenstein cars because they're made from all kinds of random parts, put together and barely running. They break down so much that there are literally DR-equivalent AAA trucks just waiting around every few miles on the highway. Even the rental car we got from the airport was missing the original radio. It was some after-factory thing held in place in part by a piece of wood, and the oil cap was missing. I've seen bootleg cars; I grew up in the poor part of a major city. Some of family members are currently driving cars that should not be on the road. But I've never seen anything like this. 

People here are on the take. Everyone. Everywhere you go, they are trying to sell you a service or a thing or whatever. Wifey and our friends called them "entrepreneurs". I call them annoying and con artists. Dudes put on fake but official-looking vests with nametags and offer you services. You have to watch out for that shit. We parked at a restaurant on the beach at Boca Chica. We were literally less than 50 feet from our car and could see it perfectly. Dude offered to watch our car for money. I said no. We finished up, went to our car, and he approached us for payment. I was like, "No. I didn't ask you to watch it. I told you I didn't want you to watch it." He was pissed. Fuck him. I was at the end of my rope anyway. At that same beach we had people approaching us every 5 minutes, seriously, trying to sell us shit. "Want me to braid your daughter's hair?" "Want a massage?" "Want some of this fresh seafood I just caught today?" "Want a cd?" "Want some sunglasses?" "How about an inflatable ballooon for the nina?" And on and on and on. That can really put a cramp in a "relaxing" day at the beach. 

You go to a tourist attraction like Los Tres Ojos or the Colonial Zone and "tour guides" will offer their services to you. You don't need a tour guide for a building with one room and placards explaining everything. You don't need a tour guide for an attraction that comes with headphones and an audio tour. You wouldn't give some random guy off the street money to give you a tour of Anne Frank's house, but in the DR dudes disguise themselves you think they're official and part of the attraction. Language barriers aid that misconception, and they know it. I'm lucky I saw this in the guide book or I would likely have fell for it. 

At the airport for our flight back I attempted to get a cart to haul our luggage inside. The carts are free. Some dudes though, who I'm pretty sure are not actually employed by the airport, are standing around outside with carts and they claim you. They roll up to the side of your car as you pull up, they wait until you start unloading your luggage, and they start taking it from you and telling you that they'll help you. I asked our friend if I should let them or go get my own cart and she said, "Sure, but they'll expect a tip". She slipped a few pesos into my hand for him, hugged us goodbye, and left. The dude rolled the cart through the sliding doors right up to the checkin line...which was literally a few feet from the door. He then unloaded our bags in the line and looked at me expectantly. I was disgusted. I put the coins in his hand, he looked at them, and then he was disgusted. I have no idea how much she gave me, but I felt fine about him feeling stiffed because what kind of tip did he want for rolling our luggage cart 20 feet!? I could have carried all of our shit in there myself! Entrepreneurial my ass. 

I don't know if it's obvious to you, but this was by far the most annoying part of this country for me. 

The food sucks. It's bland and tasteless. The only dish I had that was delicious was something called boca chica, which is essentially deep fried whole fish. The best I had it was at a place called Soya Azul, which was another beachside restaurant that was maybe the second nicest beach we'd gone to. Only complaint I have about that beach were the rocks (ouch!) and a lot of seaweed. By the way, I had to Google the name of this place to make sure I had the right beach, and one of the results was a page of Instagram photos. This chick

was literally right in front of us on the beach while she was taking these. We laughed about it because you see pics like these all the time, and you think, Who are these people in bikinis making duck faces? And then there she was, literally doing it right in front of us. Good times. I have to show Wifey. She'll get a kick out of this. 

Other than that though Dominican food was pretty horrible. It's like the existence of salt hasn't made itself known over there. They really like Italian food though. You can find pasta dishes everywhere. Those aren't bad, but it's kind of weird to go to a country and eat another country's food, you know? Like, it's a rule of mine not to go to another country and eat some American chain food (although I was sorely tempted at one point). 

Also, beer. Would you like Presidente? No? How about Presidente Light? No? Welllll...maybe we have Corona. You'd rather do that than drink water from the tap in a country where maybe 49% of the water has been treated, and even then you can't be sure of the water treatment system itself. You can drink bottled water...but where was it bottled? Presidente is sounding good, huh? In the bottle. No hielo.  

Couple of other notes that are not vacation gripes but just general observations. People over there seem to either be really poor, or really "rich". I say "rich" because I don't know what rich translates to in pesos. Like, we went into a mall with a L'Occitane in it and that was supposed to be a place where "rich" Dominicans go to hang, but airports have L'Occitanes in them too. Any random mall over here could have one. My friends were like, "Yeah, you can go to that mall if you want to spend like 1000 pesos on a shirt." 1000 pesos roughly translates to almost $100 or something US, and there are definitely people I know who would spend that kind of money on a shirt, and I wouldn't consider them rich. I think DR "rich" is actually middle class, and they look rich simply because there is such a huge contrast between them and the lower classes. Like, there's a huge difference between driving a brand new shiny Mazda and a Frankenstein car, right? I drive a '98 Accord that has seen better days because I'm cheap, but I'm still in the same income bracket as someone driving a new Volkswagen. That doesn't seem to be the case in the DR. I saw most of this disparity outside of the city proper, along the highways. 

Dudes with guns. Lots of dudes with guns. Everywhere. At toll booths, at the entrance to apartment complexes, in strip malls. Big guns too. They looked like sawed-off shotguns, but I didn't exactly stare at them. They were in military fatigues and looked to be official, but it was difficult to tell if they were private security firms or members of the police force or army or what. Now look, I know that the police force around me in the States are obviously armed. The Bank of America building I walk past to work sometimes has an armed guard at the door. This is not news to me. Maybe it's the size of the guns, that they're so blatant about it. Maybe it's the casual nature in which they hold them. Maybe it's because they're everywhere. I've never driven through a toll booth on the Pike and seen armed guards hanging out there, protecting...something. Never had to walk past an armed guard on the way back from the swimming pool in a private building either. I mentioned this to my friend, and she said, rightly, "Would you rather you couldn't see them?". It made me very nervous though, especially after reading warnings on the US Department's website about dudes posing as officers to shake you down, and actual police officers pulling you over to extort you. I'll admit, visiting that site was not the best thing to do for an already nervous traveler. It made it seem like the DR was full of criminals waiting to snatch your bag, follow you to your hotel and then snatch your bag, or follow you to your hotel, rape you, and then snatch your bag. 

Also, just throwing this out there, but a black woman with short hair and more masculine traits (i.e. shorts, t-shorts, no make-up, baseball cap) traveling with a much more feminine white woman and a clearly mixed-race child? That gets attention, and not the positive kind. I can't tell you how many stares I got. Lots of eyeballs moving between me and Wifey trying to figure shit out. Homosexuality is not illegal in the DR, but they don't exactly like it. 

In short, if I were to ever return to the DR, I would stay in a resort. Fuck trying to experience the local culture. I did it and found it lacking. I'm ready to seclude myself in a safe, clean resort. 

Bathroom Tales 1

So I walked into the women's room and it was...fragrant. No big. That's what it's for. There was a woman standing at the sink, no one else there, and I assumed it was her. Again, no big. I did what anyone with bathroom etiquette would do and avoided eye contact and went quickly into a stall to do my business.

But then she left.

I immediately panicked, realizing that of course anyone who came in after me would think I had bombed the place and I wanted no part of that. It was a race against time to finish my business and get the hell out of there.

I made it.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what it's like to have bathroom anxiety.

Sexual Discovery: What Are You Obligated to Tell?

Things that happened this morning:

- We almost got t-boned by a huge pickup truck when Wifey turned left at an intersection. The truck was sitting in the middle of the intersection opposite us with his blinker on signaling that he was turning left as well. Should of worked out except that when we started to turn he apparently changed his mind and started straight for us.

- I was almost for driven off the road by some bitch in a minivan who decided she didn't want to stay in her lane while we turned a corner. Had the nerve to curse at me and honk her horn. I caught up to her and blew a raspberry because I'm vicious.

- I almost got t-boned by another driver who was turning left while I was going straight.

But the thing that prompted this post was my favorite local sports radio show. Yes, again. Not in a negative way this time though. It just gave me something to think about and I thought I'd share those thoughts with my readers (or, reader. Hi Jeff!). They were talking about Michael Phelps and the stories circulating online that his girlfriend is transgender, a man, or whatever. Different "articles" use different terminology in their headlines. I'm trying to find a link that doesn't look like it came from the Enquirer. Let me see...I can't find anything, so here it is.

The story, in a word, is "Yuck". Not that she was born intersex and had the surgery and all that jazz, but that she's more than likely not at all involved with Michael Phelps and is using this for some sort of weird publicity. Bleh. The radio show this morning was also very positive and not at all disrespectful about the process and her history. The question they raised though, was this: "What, if any, obligation does a person have to tell their partner about their past?"

In this case it was clearly bullshit that if she did indeed have some sort of relationship with him she opted to go to the media with the revelation of her surgery and such without telling her alleged boyfriend first. That's a no-brainer and a clear money-grab move. Hence one of the reasons I call shenanigans (not to mention the lack of photos of the two of them together, etc.). Let's move beyond that to the generic. If you are a transgender woman/man, or were born intersex and got some things removed, whatever...do you have to tell your partner? And if so, when?

My short answer is this: if you're having a hook-up, kind've one-night-stand style, and everything looks "fine" down there (i.e. they're not going to find something they weren't expecting), I don't think you do. It's a one-time deal and I think there's some safety concerns involved. You don't know the other person all that well yet in the case of a hook-up, and trusting them with that kind of detail means you're opening yourself up for some potentially psycho behavior. I mean, do you tell them at the bar when you guys are getting cosy and heading "that way", allowing for the possibility of them making a scene to save face in front of their friends or something? Do you tell them when you're alone and about to get personal, introducing the risk of personal harm if they flip out? Have you ever seen "Looking for Mr. Goodbar"?

Personally, I've never met/seen a transgender person who didn't ping something. I'm sorry, I know this will probably offend some transgender folks, but I've never seen one that didn't make me think "That used to be a man" or "That used to be a woman". I just don't know how you could miss it. Even this chick, the one claiming to be with Michael Phelps—she's clearly had some surgery done and went the whole nine to realize her inner woman, but her face man. Her face would make me pause and ask some questions before we got too close. It still has masculine angles. But, if some hot woman managed to slip past my radar and we hooked up, I figure what I don't know won't hurt me. This is clearly not the case with STDs, but being transgender is not transmittable, so...play on! (All of the above is also clearly hypothetical since I'm both married and not likely to attract a hot woman other than my wife.)

If you're in a relationship though, if it's getting serious—yeah, you need to fess up. Getting serious is the line, you know, where it's time to come clean about everything because it's about building a relationship, and trust is a cornerstone there, if I may be cheesy. It shouldn't (hopefully wouldn't) change anything if you're with the right person, whereas if it came out somehow later on from another source it could threaten the stability of your relationship.

My two cents on a totally irrelevant subject.

Adrian Peterson Suspended? Good!

Time to write so that this poison in my heart can get out and I can get on with my day.

I heard some chatter on my local sports radio station this morning that almost made me break my texting while driving rule. I wanted to Tweet, Facebook, call in (and I never call in). Seriously.

So Adrian Peterson has been suspended for the rest of the season. You can read about it here and here, plus a bunch of other places. The show hosts, Toucher and Rich, along with their invited guest Greg Bedard (about whom I will say right now, "Eff that guy"), expressed outrage at the suspension. I heard a lot of "What AP did was wrong, but..." and "I don't condone this practice, but..." "Maybe he went overboard, but..." etc. If you agree that he was wrong, and that he needs to be punished, then what's the big fucking deal about him getting suspended for the remaining 6 games?

Oh. You're pissed at Goodell in general. Anything the dude does is automatically wrong, evil, insert adjective here.

Let me try and enumerate and respond to not only the arguments I heard on this show (which I normally love but pissed me off beyond belief today) but also in the comments on that ESPN article. I know, never read the comments, but sometimes there's this masochistic part of me that wants to test whether or not people are as shitty as I typically think they are. They are.

Goodell is only doing this because of public perception. He screwed up on the Ray Rice case so he's making up for it and going overboard. 
And? Yeah, he messed up with the Ray Rice shit storm. He's making sure he doesn't fall into the same thing with Adrian Peterson. He doesn't want to be accused of giving this dude a slap on the wrist and letting him off easy. AP was suspended 6 games already—WITH PAY! He missed out on actual play time —which I understand would be a big deal for a competitive athlete— but he still got paid. What a luxury. You're getting punished for violating an agreement with your employer, but you're still getting paid. Now he gets suspended 6 more games without pay. That's too much though, right? Going overboard. Tell me—what is the proper punishment for beating a kid these days?

But look at all the other NFL players that do/did heinous things? Murder, manslaughter, abuse, drugs, drunk driving, you name it. The NFL never gave a fuck before and now they suddenly do?
Better late than never I say. What kind of argument is this anyway? "They never did anything about it before so they should probably keep on keepin' on. Too late now." How does continuing to not do anything help anything?

Goodell's making shit up as he goes. He's catering to public pressure. 
Duh. He has a brand. His brand has had a shitty year in regards to reputation. Now more than ever the league seems full of unstable, bully-type agro dudes, and the cover is being pulled back on the league's implicit support and how they sweep these incidents under the rug. He'd be being irresponsible to his organization if he didn't take public perception into account and try to manage that. I reckon the folks most upset about this are the ones who want their business-as-usual football, hold the personal accountability please. "Yeah, yeah, beating bad, blah blah blah. Will he be back in in time to help us make a post-season run?"

But still, Goodell suspended Stallworth for the entire season in 2009 for killing a pedestrian while driving. Does AP deserve the same punishment as a dude convicted of DUI manslaughter? Isn't that a bit much? 
There are people who would argue that Stallworth should have gotten worse than that. Did Goodell set a precedent that means that any other crime lesser than murder requires less time? Is the league not allowed to adjust as time goes on?

AP's actions were a product of his background/upbringing/race, whatever. He didn't think he was doing wrong, and plenty of people spank their kids. 
Go fuck yourself if you can't tell the difference and you justify abuse with that tired-ass argument. I was raised being "whooped". I don't hit my kid. Argument nullified.

But Goodell is evil. Goodell is a coward. Goodell is a joke. Goodell is the antichrist. I'm never watching football again until Goodell is gone. Goodell is ruining the league. 
So, let me get this straight. You're real problem is with Goodell. You don't actually care about what the players do. You'd have been happier if AP beating his kid had never come to light. You'd have been happier if that Ray Rice video had never surfaced. Because now the general public, not just the people who live and breathe football, know what's going on and are weighing in and putting pressure on Goodell to hold these dudes accountable and it's just fucking everything up. And you guys have some sort of bug up your ass about Goodell specifically. When he doesn't punish Rice enough, he's awful. When he punishes him more, later, he's awful. When he punishes AP, he's awful. He's just awful and there's nothing you can say to change my mind. Meh.

Speculation is that Goodell will be out. Fine. I hope he makes a lot of player's lives more difficult before he does. I hope he says, "Fuck it, I've been too lenient too long. Let me make up for this shit right now." I hope he starts throwing the book at everybody and stops the trend of NFL players being exempt when they fail the tests of basic human decency. Turn it into a survival game show: Who's Can Stay in the NFL? When there's a real threat to those 6-digit checks and not being able to participate in something you love maybe we'll see real change. 

I'm not unreasonable though. I get that part of the pique is about a lack of guidelines. How do you know what you can get away with if there are no regulations clearly outlining the possible punishments?